In my post “Assurance.“, I talked about how there’s a really meticulous way of coming out. Today I had an opportunity to come out to a friend, and I passed it up. Originally I had considered coming out to her first. The cards made sense — she is very gay, trusts me with a lot of personal things, and is very supportive and not at all judgmental. Today we were trying to play some music, as usual, and she asked what song I wanted to sing. I sat there in her room probing my mind to find a song other than “Outlaws of Love” by Adam Lambert, one of my favorites but also a pretty clear insinuation of my sexuality. And as I was thinking I wondered if it was such a bad thing that I could give myself away. Or I could have just told her and kept on singing. But for some inexplicable reason, I said “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles instead. And just like that the moment had passed. I’m kind of disappointed, but I also acknowledge that coming out to two people took a lot, and I need to muster up the strength to make it through the next few people.